A rushed look at this years Premier League

The End of Season Review

The date is the 14th of May 2010 5 days after the rollercoaster of the Premier League jolted to a complete holt. A season, which has at times lacked in quality but has never been short of surprises, a season where mighty forces of the past have fallen, and where finally enquiries are being made about the corporate bastards using our football clubs as toys and business opportunities after the first ever Premiership club went into administration. As well as all that there was one of the tightest battles for fourth place I can ever remember, the title race kept
The first few months started off like any other, there were a few changes to some of the top sides, Chelsea had a new manager in but no real big signings were made in the summer, United has lost their wonder kid to Real Madrid for a record 80 million pounds, Arsenal again went in with the belief that they could go and win the league with a youth team and City splashed out more cash then any other premier league club with their new Arabic owners. The opening day did have one significant result in it that at the time spectators wouldn’t of predicted, Tottenham beat Livepool at White Heart Lane. As a Chelsea fan I always do find it amusing when Liverpool lose because having had to witness a Chelsea and Liverpool tie over 20 times in the past 5 years is no laughing matter. But yes would you believe it everybody’s favourtie whipping boys Tottenham managed to fight for and win the dog fight for 4th spot this season and change the face of the “Top Four”, they deserved it more then City and was more consistent then Villa (Although Villa were my favored team for the spot). There was always this constant horrible feeling that even though Liverpool were playing without any spirit or any skill and for the first time in their history dropped out in the group stages of Champions League, as well as going out in the 3rd round of the FA Cup to Reading, that despite all of this I could still picture how the last day of the season would play out, 3rd minute of stoppage time, it’s 1-1 and if Liverpool win they seal fourth after an unprecedented 10 wins on the trot, ball gets wipped out from a corner “ It comes to GEEEEEEEERRRRARRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD” and Steven Gerrard, savour of Mersey side belts in a 30 yard volley in the last kick of the game…Typical Liverpool. But instead they finished 7th, one of their worst performances in the league for years. Benitez looks like he’s out of the job, and towards the end of the season all their star players were looking unbelievably depressed. It wouldn’t surprise me if one of the big 2 (Gerrard or Torres) were to leave in the summer.
The race for the title however was a bit of a different beast this season. Those of you who know me will know that I am a Chelsea supporter, always have, always going to be, but this season my love for them changed ever so slightly. The same way that your relationship is with a mate who you love dearly, but whenever you go out and get pissed he can’t help but start trouble. This was pretty much Chelsea’s attitude to games this season, whenever we would look like losing most of out star players would get aggy with the referee and we’d lose all faith in getting anything out of the game. This was shown when the Special One came back to the Bridge to tactically, mentally and physically out do us in every department. The loss came without shock really, Mourinho knows Chelsea inside out and he is the greatest manager in the world…we never stood a chance. But he had it played out so well. Shut Lampard out the way so we had to no playmaker, get on Drogba’s nerves so he loses his temper and probably gets sent off (Which he did) and hit us on a counter attack where we was consistently weak this season. A situation we was never in when the Special One was in charge of us. Despite the loss in Champions League I took many positives out of it. Both United and Arsenal were left back in it, this meant another 2 mid week games for top players to get injured in, or to just generally get jaded in. A lot of my non-Chelsea fans couldn’t understand this but as it goes I turned out to be right. Rooney was injured in the first leg of Uniteds tie against Bayern Munich, the Wednesday before we was set to play them, and Fabregras and Arshavin were injured for Arsenal in their fantastic game against Barcelona at the Emirates. Which did eventually lead to a dip in form for both of our rivals and for us to steam ahead. There were a few further hiccups but nothing major and more or less throughout the season played like a tank in Tiananmen Square, stopping only once or twice to minor teams. We got 6 out of 6 against the top 4, most goals scored by any club in a season ever, highest ever goal difference, topped off by an emphatic 8-0 win on the last day of the season. Which also included a Drogba hat-trick to give him the Golden boot for the season. The Premiership returns to Stamford Bridge.
It is the FA Cup final tomorrow and in true cup final fashion it is an underdog challenge. Botom side Portsmouth against League winners Chelsea, now despite my love for Chelsea and how I’d love us to pull off our first ever League and Cup double, I cant help but have this hope that Pompy do the impossible tomorrow, not just because I have a respect for the town of Portsmouth as it has been good to me over the years and is the home to some of my friends and is supported by my mentor. But because I feel that the fans deserve it more then any other. The way that that club has been allowed to be run into the ground by an owner who obviously didn’t have a clue has been absolutely sickening. A guestermat to the high courts and customs said that Portsmouth owed around 60 millions pounds in bills, it now turns out that they owe nearly 130 million and then the bills were released to the public. Ridiculous amounts owed to ridiculous people. 500 pounds owed to the milkman, 700 pounds owed to the local florist, 13,000 pounds owed to Chichester college, and I’d like to know what dealing they did with Qatar airways because they owe them 20 pence. This has been a harsh reminder that corporate bastards are being allowed quite happily to use our football clubs as toys without having any knowledge what so ever about running a football club, or having any respect for the fans that devote their lives to it. So tommorow at 3 o’clock when two 2 blue sides go out onto that pitch at Wembley I will have this slight support for the underdog. If we snatch an early goal, it’ll be a repeat of last week, but if Portsmouth play with the attitude that they have nothing to lose, then considering this is the oldest and greatest domestic cup competition in all of sport where anything can happen I turley believe that Pompy could do it.
Sorry this is brief and rather rushed I wanted to complete it before tommorows game and I’m currently getting ready to go to an Alabama 3 gig…here is a brief list of awards for the season
Player of the year – James Milner: Did he have a bad game for Villa? An absolutely certainty for Capello’s 11 in South Africa surely.
Best goal – Danny Rose: Spurs V Arsenal: your 19 years old, its your premier league debut and you score a 30 yard volley in a north London derby that you then go on to win for the first time since you was born. An absolute dream come true and a cracking goal.
Manager of the year: a toss between Harry Redknapp and Roy Hodgson: Premier League I’d give it to Harry for his achievement with Spurs, but nothing can be taken away from the spirit that Fuhlam have played with this season.

Signing of the season: Adam Johnson, Middlesborough – City: He might of come in January but young Adam Johnson has impressed amongst a team full of over payed pre madonna’s. good on him

A silver lining in a very black cloud

Today was one of the darkest days in my living memory. Within hours not only has the countries fate been given over to David Cameron’s army of Tory’s thanks to the treacherous Liberal Democrats, but one of our finest sanctuary’s was forced to cancel due to rising cost’s forced by local money grabbing police. A stark reminder that our civil liberties have no sign of letting up when it comes to them being stripped from us without argument and that money is still the main evil preventing us from having a good time. Now I know next to fuck all about politics, so this isn’t going to be a politically based blog (I was only 7 when the Tories last had the ruling of the UK anyway) and I only ever went to 2 Glade’s so this isn’t going to be one on the history of my time there (Fantastic them 2 festivals were though). But there’s one thing would say I know a lot about and that is the history of music and film and its surrounding cultures, but again most of the stuff I’m going to document hasn’t come from my own personal experiences due to me being full of youth. But I feel that in my time I’ve been able to gather enough research from an addiction to IMDB and questions of curiosity when it comes to meeting people from that particular era as well as obsessing over music from that period. One of the main positives that can be taken from the new Tory government is a possible return to quality guitar music. Brit pop ended in allegedly ended in 1997, partly because of the New Labour government and something to do with Princess Diana generally putting a dampener on things as well, but from what I can see from 1979 to 1997 music, especially British music, was at its peek. Factory Records was a year in and starting to make some noise by 1979 and Thatchers call to power, Joy Division had released their first E.P and shit seemed like it was properly kicking off. Factory records then went on to sign many more influential bands and hold host to many at the notorious Hacienda. By the mid 80’s we had such class Indie music like The Smiths, The Stone Roses, The Fall, James, The Happy Mondays and so on, back when the term ‘Indie’ actually had proper meaning and the bands didn’t all sound the same. The Hacienda can also be credited with the rise of Acid house, ecstasy culture and the rise of raving. Hosting 808 State in 1989 and having reports of some people “crawling through the air vents just to see them” (according to Wikipedia), with this came the birth of free parties, which then led to ‘the law against rave’ also known as the “Criminal Justice and Public Disorder act 1994” which was bought in by John Majors Tory government mainly because of the infamous Castlemorten festival in 1992, where approximately 30,000 people descended on the tiny village for a week! The mighty rave was dealt its first major blow, not helped by the closing down of the Hacienda (although eye witness reports say the club had been truly dead for several years anyway). I’d like to at this point intervene the history lesson to note that the reason I give this period much praise is because of its lack of motivation for profit. Free parties lived up to their name, and got it’s meaning from “being free from the restrictions of legal club nights”, and Tony Wilson with Factory records famously made many calamities when it came to running a club night and a record company by spending more then they was taking. They released L.P’s that cost more to make then they was actually charging for, and literally rinsed all of New Orders profits from their biggest ever-selling Blue Monday single by putting it straight back into the Hacienda. Why? Because they loved music and felt this is how it should be, and from it we was given quality music from many quality bands. Now at this point you’re probably wondering what this has to do with Glade’s cancelation and a new Tory government, but I’ll be getting to that in a minute…. Anyway 1994 marked the first death of Rave (although I’m sure many still went on for a long time afterwards for arguments sake we’ll call the 1994 law the first death). 1994 also bought along a new band, again another Manchester based band 2 lads and a couple of mates who in 2 years went from the dole cue to performing to having the fastest selling debut album of the time and now one of the biggest selling British albums ever and to then performing to 250,000 people at Knebworth. The absolute Rock n Roll dream despite what anyone’s recent opinions of them are there is no doubting that Oasis were a revelation to Rock n Roll and proved that if you wanted to be the best at something all you had to do was rip off what you’ve heard before. There are many aspects to Brit Pop that I love; The Blur V Oasis war, the rise of Glastonbury, the peak of British Rock n Roll, Jarvis Cocker, I even like that an artist like Damien Hurst could be called a genius, literature such as American Psycho coming in from the states and Irvine Welsh writing his tales of decrepit Scotland and Film makers such as Danny Boyle making films like Shallow Grave and Trainspotting. A time when Britain seemed like it actually had some proper balls. Until of course like I mentioned earlier it all came to a bit of an abrupt end with the New Labour government, death of the peoples princess and the release of Oasis highly anticipated, and somewhat disappointing 3rd album, ‘Be Here Now’ from then on nothing happened. Music started to decline, a new Millennium was rung in and bands like Travis, The Darkness and Coldplay, even Robbie Williams was being praised for his excuse for music, Blur and Pulp put themselves on permanent hiatuses and everything else Brit Pop had was almost forgotten about, Glastonbury was then restricted by a massive fence, and television shows such as Pop Idol and then the X-Factor showed that mainstream music was just a tool for a bunch of gormless cunts to produce another production line fad of a performer, tricking the innocent public to come on and lose all their dignity or sell their soul on live television. This has been allowed to continue ever since, despite the brief rise of a new look of Indie music (which was very brief) and being saved by the reformation of a few bands from the old days. Popular music got so shit that I decided to abandon it and find new avenues in Folk and Electronic music with great results. Although the music was fairly bad we have now been given an amazing opportunity through the internet, an opportunity where any of us with a musical note and a lyric can produce a song and put it out to the world via the internet. Yea I know most of it’s shit but that’s not the point, musicians are back to promoting their music and giving it away for free and being more in touch with fans then they’ve ever been.
I think its now time I got to my point well here it is... I like to believe in omens and signs, and I find it more then coincidence that on this black of all days, a community’s legal festival has been stripped from it and the very government that tried to destroy it before is back, I find this more of a coincidence as music, just like the weather or may I be so bold to say the economy, change with every generation and I think a new Tory generation will be just what we need for our muscians, film makers, writers and artists to start giving a shit again and turn Britain back into the super power it once was. The previous Tory government might of stolen your milk, banned you from drinking on the terraces of a football stadium, forced you or a parent out of work due to privatization, and even tried to force a new pointless tax on you. But shit there wasn’t there some great music made under their reign? A Labour government was probably a bit easy on us, we got a minimum wage, tuition fee’s for higher education which could have been paid off by an easy little student loan, as well as a shit load of increased benefits and allowances which will probably now be cut. Now I'm not saying that the past 13 years will be known as the glory years of Britain. Don't get me wrong any government that goes to War illegally, bans the civil liberty of smoking and draws alliance with the dangerous, war mongering, bully Americans is not a good one in my view, but we are working class people and a change over from Red to Blue is against an unwritten social code, which is also why I think so many people voted for the Liberal Democrats this time round... So I ask that on this black of all days you try and have a little hope that beyond the inevitable lower standard of living, us working classes who enjoy our drink, cigarettes, music, films, drugs and parties can look forward to an increase of quality in the arts. It’s been a long time coming and it’s a new decade anyway so its bound to happen, lets use this time not to morn or moan, but to stand up against the new law of the land. I’ve already seen a Facebook group asking for support for a free Glade festival, and with the catalyst of the glorious Internet I’m almost certain that guitar music will return in this of all dark times. The Tories will moan, and living will probably only get worse, my main concern that the greatest institution left in this country, I am of course referring to the mighty BBC, will be allowed to be sold off to the evil Rupert Murdoch, that however is a blog I shall write if the situation arises, but fuck it lets go take in a film, get wasted and then listen to some tunes.
Thanks for reading; Sorry if my Wikipedia based research was all bull shit,
RIP Glade. 2004-2009
Lahm

Farewell teenage years

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It is exactly 56 minutes until I turn 20 and leave behind me the first development years of my life. The best way to write about it would be to do it in the style of a decade review I suppose, try and recall what change me as a person, what had an impact, what I experienced, landmark moments and the people that were there throughout all of it. For some of you that have known me through these 10 years some of this will ring bells, to some of you I have known for a couple to 3 years this is a chance to get to find out what I was up to before I met you. For those of you with no interest in the gory details, I’ve put a lot of effort into doing my stats at the bottom of the page I don’t know how this is going to work, but if I get it done before 12 it will be the fastest entry I’ve ever written for anything in my entire 20 years on earth. I suppose I should start from the point when I first started to have a clue what was going on in the world and for many people of around my age this date would probably have to be September 11^th 2001. The last chance any of us will ever have to experience world peace, the start of fear and the beginning of a war which will last longer and probably be more pointless then the Trojan one. From now on no one was safe on a plane, anyone with a beard was a terrorist and your human rights were to be exploited for the interests of safety. I have tried to ignore this atmosphere for the past 9 years. Even when having to experience it happen just literally 3 miles up the road from me 5 years later. But this isn’t a blog about terrorism, more a blog of what I’ve noticed and learnt in the past 10 years. I grew up not knowing what its like not to have a mobile phone or not being connected to the Internet and I suppose I could argue that I've grown up in the fastest technological revolution in human history, also I’m yet to really understand the perils of a possible Tory government. I haven’t had a bad teenage life; but of course it has been plagued with the usual loneliness, self-consciousness, self-loathing and incredibly down periods where I stopped seeing the point and I’ve also discovered the evil of money and what it does to people. But despite the obvious harshness of adolescents, I’ve also learnt that within this world of morons and corporate bastards there is also so much more beauty if you look for it. I’ve experienced intense highs, explored unchartered mental territory and even discovered the joys of free love. But I have to say my favorite discovery is that no matter how hard life gets, how much them bastards grind you down, even when your own family starts to seem alien to you, you always have your friends, who are the family you choose yourself.

School Days

People always told me that your school years are the best years of your life…. That person was wrong. I went to a Jesuit run all boys school in Wimbledon, and it was filled with cunts. Prisons probably have better morals between the inmates. Grassing was not a crime, no one could be trusted, the banter was fun don’t get me wrong, but 90% of the people were arrogant, vicious and lacked a lot of human decency, Don’t get me wrong, I was never a victim of bullying as such but the enviroment of them classrooms was an absolute chore. I also hated that it seemed like it would never end, 5 days a week 9-3.30 for 11 years, learning stuff which a majority of which is useless and then years later realizing that the importance of these “GCSE’s” was all a complete fabrication. The idea that without them you would fail at life and never achieve your dreams was a lie and I felt like those 11 years of my life was taken from me unfairly. However it weren’t all doom and gloom, with the help of my mates Jul, B, G, Lloyd, Charlie, Stinky, Scott and maybe a few other acceptations of which I’m too tired to list at the moment I was able to survive them pointless years in that building. All of us had no interest in any of the work that was set and as a result pretty much all of us flunked our exams and kind of went our separate ways. Which is when things started to get fun….

Adolescents

Now I’m no expert on what its like to be a teenage girl, probably because I’ve never been one. But I am aware of hormones and all that emotional shit. But I honestly think that the years of 14-16 are by far the hardest years for the teenage boy. A Catholic all boys’ school isn’t the best environment to discover girls in. The teenage years I feel should the main years of sexual experiments, it’s a great practice patch. Find out how things work, how to put what where, how to react to certain reactions, and what to say when the whole ordeal is finished. Unfortunately though at this age if you ain’t got the development you ain’t got a bloody chance. I for one at the ages of 14-16 was shorter, quieter, and less adventurous and had less self as teem then a Guantanamo prisoner. I did however at the age of 15 manage to somehow lose my virginity to a girl called Emma Watson (unfortunately not the star of Harry Potter) I wont embarrass the girl with too many details of the filth we endeavored in. But it was the most awkward and seemingly pointless act I’ve ever had and I cant help but feel that the brief relationship I had with that girl has turned me into the unlucky sex crazed, buffoon that acts before you, but what I discovered from the experience and then further experiences is that sex should just be a bit of a laugh…because it is isn’t it? Love has got little to do with it when your that age because I don’t think your really capable of being truly in love with your first girlfriend or whatever so your just doing it for fun, in which case WHY DIDN’T I GET LAID MORE!?. The reason being is that the last I heard of that girl was that she was acting odd and had lost all contact with any friends that I knew of her. It was a time I’d rather forget and on that note I would like to start talking about the good shit….. The second significant date of my teenage years was the 23^rd of March 2004, the reason being this was my first live gig and the start of my love of music. I went to see The Zutons with my life long partner in crime Lauren. I have vague memories of the set list even, but considering this was in the wake of the Libertines split and the Indie world was still in a daze after The Strokes released “is this it?” I was soon to be a bit of an Indie boy. (At this stage I would like to point out that age 12 I would wear heavily baggy jeans, nirvana hoodies and bike chains). Now I don’t know whether it’s because I’m starting to get tired and I’ve already just completed a 1500 word essay but I’m far too jaded to discuss my journey through the love of music. But may I give thanks to Morrissey for saving my life again and again. Noel Gallagher for his fantastic Rock N Roll and to Thom Yorke for teaching me that rock music didn’t have to have guitars in it, Damien Rice for teaching me that your deepest feelings and stories could be told through songs… O and a little cheeky shout out to Nick Bracegirdle for teaching me that music could be made using computers. Since that date I have no clue how many gigs I’ve been to, or how many bands I’ve seen live but without music I’d probably be a dunce.

College

When I discovered that you could do a course at college that involved watching films, talking about them, and even making them, I thought it was far too good to be true. Until I met a man at NESCOT College who was going to then be a bit of a life mentor for me. When I failed my exams not a single soul had any hope in me, even my own mother had given up hope on my future, but I will always remember what Catlow said to me… “…O well, not the end of the world. Your young, a year is nothing, if anything its just another year of experience for you.” That mans belief in me gave me the first piece of real self-confidence I’ve ever had in myself. The good lord may never have blessed me with athletic ability, good looks, intelligence or even common sense at times. But Catlow made me believe that I could do anything I wanted if I really wanted. But my journey from the quiet boy at the back of the room was just beginning. My first year of college introduced me to two pivotal people in my life. The first was a young man called Matty, who by complete coincidence was friends with my life long partner in crime Lauren and through this my social life was born. I learnt the essential basics of how to drink, smoke and stay up late. The second was a young man who turned up late to his second day of college after skipping his first because he couldn’t be bothered to show up. This fellow is Jack Sparling or Del as I like to refer to him, he took me for my first drink (which I paid for) and was the first person I could properly have in-depth conversations about film with. He also taught me how to smoke and generally act in public although none of it ever set in. He told me once the only reason he went on the course was because whist visiting on a mates induction a girl smiled at him so he enrolled to see if he could find her… I dunno what kind of person I would of turned out to be if that girl didn’t smile at Del. My second course at college ( a 2 year national diploma media course) was by far the 2 best years of my life. A completely new introduction of people and a new appreciation of the pleasures of cannabis, I look back at those 2 years now with a sense of complete bliss. What other college could I get get top class teaching at, watch films all day, get stoned on a break, play football at lunch, watch another film, have a load of banter with some quality people and then get an education out of the end of it, of course I had my 3 main partners in crime there also. Lewis, Aaron and Josh. To this day I think they should of put us on the front of the college prospectus as a sign of the colleges multi-cultural vibes. Aaron chaved up to the eyeballs, Lewis with a 12 inch Mohawk and laced in punk gear, Josh pulling off a Chicago style coolness of a swagger and a Jackson 5 style afro and myself whatever the fuck I was. We would of looked brilliant on that front cover, if it weren’t for the spliff we al had in each of our hands anyway, But anyway… Aaron, Lewis, Josh, Chapman, yid, Steve, Luke, Freeman, Nick, Lizz, Sardine, Bud, Sam, Joe and all the rest. Cheers! Also as a result of that I can confirm that if you haven’t a GCSE or an A-level to your name, you can still get into a top university if you really, really, really try.

Drugs, Raves and Bangface!

During the hot summer of 2006 at a party in Cheam I bumped into a gorgeous South African girl called Kate. We got talking about football and music, exchanged numbers and the next week I went to her house to hang out. It was a large mansion like house in Wimbledon village with a massive garden and a converted garage which was a banging party room…It was in this room where I first experimented with hard drugs, an interest which was to turn into a bit of an interest of mine. I suddenly was hit with the realization that the reason take drugs was because they was fantastic...If only there was other environments where these chemicals would work well? Cue exactly one year later, sat in on a sofa in the notorious Electrowerkz club. I asked a geezer named Tree (that really was his name!) for a lighter and got chatting, he then recommend that I’d attend again but on a Bangface night. I headed his advice, and again me and my life long partner in crime attended and to this day I am Hardcrew. The amazement of this viciously loud and fast music being played in this cramped, sweaty, filthy club which stank to high heaven of ganja. Everybody with a smile on their face, everybody approachable to talk to…. Now as much as I’d like to go on about Bangface I really do think I should save that one for another time. As much as I’d love to let loose and tell tales of all the amazing people that I have met and all the amazing friends I have made thanks to a club night, I really am going to save it for another time and when I say another time, I mean a long time from now. Maybe when I’m bored of it all, or if I physically cant hack it anymore. But even on this of all blogs. A blog which I said I was going to reveal all…I honestly don’t have it in me to let loose that emotion on this my last time as a teenage boy.

What I’ve learnt

I am a Lazy bastard

The majority of the public are idiots.

It’s easier to be nice to people then to be horrible, and you always get a better reaction to a positive approach to things.

Money rules all!

(on seducing women) If you make the pussy laugh, you make the pussy wet!

Music is magic

Film is the greatest art form that I’ve experienced

Friendship is god’s greatest gift

Human deceny is our gift to God

I will always notice things getting worse but will never notice the benefits of life

Absolutely anything can be achieved if you want it to be

Festivals are a sanctuary for kindness, peace and love

Football harnesses a stronger passion then marriage and religion put together

Drugs were put on this earth to speed up and help the evolutionary process

A smile can go a long way

Having sex is just a laugh, making love is the important part

Personality is real beauty

Just be good and kind to each other because after all we are all we’ve got

Violence is a shit answer, wit takes real intelligence

Corporations will probably destroy society

Greed is the ultimate evil

Women are the devil

….Theres probably a lot more but as I mentioned earlier its been a long night and my mind is spent

Statistics

Days alive: 7304

Education: GCSE’s: 6 D’s, 3 E’s, 2 F’s A-Levels: None Diplomas: 2

Arrests: 1

Jobs: 5

Football Teams Supported: 1

Girls I’ve charmed: 11

Relationships: 0

Fallen in Love: 0

Festivals attended: 13

Cup Finals Attended: 4

Countries visited: 6

Bands seen live: 150 (approximatley)

What I do now?

Finish Uni and get a job out of it

Stop being lazy

Stop making excuses

Show some more respect to my parents

Save money

Find real actual love

Actually live out one of my passions

Travel

Shag more women

Run a marathon

Continue getting wasted but control it more

Have twice as much fun as I’ve already had

Final words and special thanks

To be honest with you I’m glad to see the back of the teenage years, I’ve seen all they’ve had to offer, I’ve learnt a lot, and I’m still learning which is exciting, I’ve met some of the finest people a young man can possibly hope to meet and I have a good idea of what I want to do with my life, sorry for lack of detail of certain events and life skills in this blog and it wasn’t as revealing as I’d hoped it be, I haven’t experienced that much bad stuff happen to me for it to be a thriller, I also hope you can respect I’ve just tried to sum up 10 years as quickly as possible. But if I could some it up in a sentence I suppose It would be something along the line of…I didn’t achieve everything I set out to do, and I made a lot of excuses, but I had a laugh and I regret nothing…but anyway a special thanks and respect to… (in no proper order)

Mam and Dad, Lauren Springer, G Brown, B and Jul Smith, Charlie O’Grady, Scott O’Conner, Kate Wessex, Jack Sparling, Matty Ashwood, Sam Fifield, Nairobi Affuko, Jay Sullivan, Craig Catlow, Alan Hardcastle, Lewis Grimwood, Mike Andrews, Axel Olson, Ian Gaughran, Lesley Remdond Josh Braithwait, Matt Chapman, Matt ‘The Yid’ Sharp, Matthew ‘freeman’ Carter, Luke Flight, Lizzie Millard, Stephen Hubbard, Sam Dowden, Neill, Leefus Fitzpatrick, Richard Unwin, Pete ‘razor’ Medlock, James Bangface, Sarah and Graeme King, Heidie Prag, James ‘Jean’ Simmons, Dominick Medler, Alan Mcleod, DAN, Dinn Warde, Mike Neufield, Dave Feneron, Jem ‘Gurner’, Hayley Morgan, Lee Hutcheon, The Regime Boys (Mic, Lloyd & Howard etc), Big Scottish Dave, Joe Amos, Holly Parker, Rosa Macey, Ian Hamilton, Tom ‘The Nonce’ Radford, Fiona Hamilton, Julie Pritchard, Adam Emberson, Ryan Mcfdagey, Duane Melius, Elliot Snook, Chris ‘Baldo’, Jenny Garton, Page Perrier, Annie, Charlotte and Callum Graham, Dylan, Josh Kerr, Laura Wood, Matty Treagold, Lloyd, Michelle, Jamie, Natasha, Nanja and too anybody who I’m too tired to remember. Cheers you made it all worth while

The reasons for my recent absence (pathetic excuse for problems)

Hi. May I apologies firstly for my slack attempt at updating my blog. The reasons behind my recent laziness will be explained in the following through paragraphs, and I must warn you this is probably going to be a depressing one.

Shockingly the last time I wrote here I was still living in Morden, living up the summer and probably being slightly nervous about the next few months of my life, probably because I was moving out and starting university. Well here I am around 5 months in and I have found myself to be suffering from total de-motivation. Now I know that some of you will think that its just a fancy word for being lazy, but I’m a grand master in being lazy and I can tell you this is a whole lot more soul destroying. I find it’s probably the same difference between having the blues and being completely depressed. The worse case of this de-motivation came at around Christmas time, when I had 6 weeks off uni and all my housemates went home for the holidays. I completely isolated myself in the house, had no money to do anything, and wouldn’t move from my chair for about 14 hours until I would go to sleep. Now even a lazy person would use this time constructively, they would listen to new music, sit there and watch a shit load of films they hadn’t seen before or watch the whole series of The Soprano’s or something. I however sat there in my arm chair, blocking out the whole concept of Christmas, played a few games of Football Manager every day and had a routine of day time television, I would also drink myself stupid every day without fail so I could kill the boredom. The most horrible part of all this was that I knew I was doing nothing and I was unbelievably unhappy about it. Being so lethargic as to not even be bothered to listen to music was probably the lowest point of it all, but I battled through and made it into the New Year alive and well although slightly apprehensive about how things were going. I learnt a valuable thing about myself last Christmas. I’m not designed to be alone because my mind and me really don’t get on when we’re together; this is where I think the copious amounts of booze were helping.

Another issues I’ve had to face with my recent identity crisis are my sudden dip in confidence and self esteem. A year ago I’d walk into social situations with the excitement of meeting new people and making new friends, however a few weeks ago I couldn’t even ask a station supervisor when the next train to Victoria was, which unfortunately is just a small fact in a long list of recent quivering messes I’ve found myself in just lately, and what bothers me even more is that even though I’m aware all of this is going on I just lie in bed thinking about it and getting myself angry, which has also lead to another problem your faithful narrator has been having, which is confrontation. The past few months I have screamed at traffic wardens, spat in the direction of doormen, wrote unnecessarily aggressive letters to councils and nightclubs and just generally been a right arse to anyone who hasn’t shared my opinion on something. This entirely new concept of being angry hasn’t faired to well to my current situation because I’m not really used to making a fuss about anything, I’m also worried it could get me into a bit of trouble if I cant vent it better then I’m already trying to do.

This leads me on to another problem I’ve been having, which is my loss of passion for things I once loved loads. Music, like I mentioned before now has very little impact on me. Tracks I usually love now have no effect and whole idea of listening to anything new just seems like a choir. Film. Although until as recent as last (although with the help of my old friend Mary Jane) I had no interest in watching any films, I couldn’t bring myself to have the attention span to concentrate on anything at all, although this is facing a kind of revival recently and I’m seeing it as a silver lining to a massive black cloud. Then there’s my most favorite hobby… Getting wasted. Now the main answer I give when asked why I like to inebriate myself is simply that I feel that I’m quite good at it. I stay out of trouble, I can control myself quite well, I can handle a lot, rarely noticeable freak out, and can take care of myself pretty well, as well as enjoy myself immensely and be really social at the same time. But like everything else that I’m moaning about, this has become somewhat of a choir recently. Most noticeably for me was a recent adventure to Brighton. I was of course going for The Regime like I always do but had told my old friends B & G that I would meet them at the club. When I met them I was struggling to string a sentence together let alone make good conversation with my old mates, I stood almost lost in the corner of the club not talking to anyone and generally losing control of myself, this was when I realized that there had been previous stupid moments like this one. The squat party when I lost my wallet and keys, getting on wrong busses and trains home, getting myself lost in Enfield, and the bizarre anxiety attack I also had after one night. I’m hoping this passes as I miss the pleasures of letting off steam through the method of poisoning myself.

Now I’ve tried to think of a way of how to resolve this predicament I’ve found myself in. What can I put it down to? I blame the following…

The horrible weather – I’ve always hated winter ever since I was young. Short sunlight hours, grotty wet London settings, dead tree’s and plants, no wildlife, and freezing my bollocks off is a form of torture really.

The decline of Bangface – I loved Bangface because it meant that every second Friday of the month without fail I could go to a place were my favorite artists would be playing and the best people I know from all over the country would all gather to get messy and have an absolute right laugh in a grotty club called the Electrowerkz. Now I have to wait almost 2 and half months for one in a venue I’m not keen on, and an atmosphere that deters me a bit.

The realization that change is shit and more things are changing and getting shitter – I cant get a job because there isn’t any, everything is ridiculously expensive, popular music shows absolutely no sign of improving, Football is continuing its horrible downfall as a middle class and businessman’s sport, even my favorite band has split up. I can not note one single piece of change in my life that has effected me for the better in anyway what so ever… O and the fact that for the rest of my life; me, my friends and my family will all be addicted to money.

Now if your still reading your probably wondering what my solution is going to be or this? I haven’t quite decided yet to be honest with you. I’m actually waiting for the weather to get better so that I think straight again. I’m also trying to stay positive in a way and trying to imagine myself with real problems. I have probably angered some of you reading this with my petty excuse for problems. There has just been a major natural disaster in an undeveloped country and I’m moaning about how I’m too lazy to get off my arse and actually do something with myself.

Thanks for reading, and I hope that next time you come to read my ramblings it will be on a more positive note, but for those of you who actually enjoy reading this thing (And there must be a few because I don’t think I can get over 300 profile views for 6 posts accidently.) These are the reasons why I haven’t posted lately.

Nice one, take it easy

Football

Now I know I’ve been a bit absent with my blog posting recently. To be honest the only reason I haven’t written one over the past few months is because I’ve been busy pretending I have better things to do. However its been an eventful summer so far, I’m moving out on the 12th of September, I attended my personal best Glastonbury yet, successfully broke into the Glade festival, paid off a huge fine that has been haunting me for almost a year, as well as general dicking about. But I’d thought I’d get back to writing today to touch on some issues that I feel I have to touch on, after being inspired to do so throughout the summer by certain events that I attended. So as another typical English summer ticks away we draw closer to one of mine, and probably over half the population of the country’s favourite time of year… The start of the new football league.
Now those of you who know me won’t be surprised to know that I love football. It is joint top of my passion’s list along with music and film. Like my other passions I love everything about it, I love playing it, watching it, talking deeply about it, studying it, using up general memory space remembering facts about it, but most of all just like my latter passions I love attending it. But unfortunately also like my other passions, there are elements I hate about it and that is the fact just like all other things pure, great and innocent that I love it has been destroyed by big corporations, advertising, investors and an influx of yuppie scumbags.
The first football match I went to was a Chelsea V Wimbledon match at Selhurst Park, a few years before Wimbledon became the victims of franchising in football and probably because of their careless owners, started a trend where the passion that owner once had for their club, could be bought off them with a series of figures with a pound sign in front of them…Anyway the score of the game finished 2-0 to Chelsea thanks to a stunning 25 yard free kick by Gianfranco Zola, and an early second half strike by Mark Hughes I think it was. But one thing that stands out for me was the atmosphere. The true working class of Britain coming together in their thousands to watch their football team, friends, families, people who had travelled for hours to get to the ground. The songs, the taunting of the opposing fans, the general protocol of different chants and when to stand up and sit down, and the delight of seeing tens of thousands of people burst into a supernova of joy when Chelsea scored twice, nothing to this day has matched it.
Although I missed the Chelsea of the 80’s when opposing fans would literally be scared the opposing Chelsea fans, and violence marred it a little bit (until ecstasy whipped it out in the late 80’s, another part of football history I regret missing) I’ve been told that going to football was made less enjoyable after the Hillsborough disaster, when terraces were banned and all league clubs had to have seating areas, I can imagine this is true, but nothing could beat them matches I went to in the 90’s. More recently though however after even Chelsea were eventually bought out by a big money investor, which in hindsight was the most amazing thing ever. 5 days from administration and a Russian billionaire saves us and ploughs money into the club until we win trophies. But with selling your soul in exchange for glory comes an even bigger fate. That thing that I loved, the pure element of football being the ultimate working class game, being able to go every other week to support my team was stopped, when football became a trend for the rich and yuppie. Because of Chelsea’s success and having the misfortune of being in the Kings road area of west London, yuppies come in their droves to watch football, because of this the price became unaffordable and I haven’t been to a game at the Bridge for over a year. The noise from stands has faded, standing throughout games is near enough banned, and swearing and chanting could face you with evection from the ground. These days having to pay over 3 times the original price for a seat, to sit next to a bunch of yuppie families talking amongst themselves, complaining when someone stands up and occasionally getting a tap on the shoulder saying “excuse me, could you mind the language…I have kids with me”. In ways I think it started with the original “Kick racism out of football” campaign, which don’t get me wrong was a good campaign but it did inflict the first rules for the terrace protocol and then acted as a catalyst for other rules. I think that football itself is the main reason for racial harmony in the working classes. It didn’t matter what colour you were, you supported the same team, the fact that your clubs top goal scorer was a black bloke, he was scoring for your team. Although racism was heavily featured in chants on the terraces, I’ve been told that this just simply faded out after societies views changed.
I appear to be digressing a bit…Anyway back in June I worked at Royal Ascot, which I soon found out was a big week long piss up for posh people and yuppies. Possibly their biggest in their calendar. They all dress up, blow loads of money on horses, frolic around and at the end of the day have a sing song of traditional English pop music and songs by the bandstand. Its quite possibly the greatest display of Englishness that I’ve seen, and in a way I really enjoyed it. But one thing I did notice was the amount of “lamb dressed as mutton”. Parties of Tarts and Geezers from Essex, Slags and Blokes from London and Whores and Bastards from up north also coming down to enjoy the party, luckily I was one of the very few people attending that was sober, but this helped me see that we the working class scum were doing to the rich what they had been doing to us, crashing their favriote sporting event. Although seeing people who are all peoples parents frolicking about pissed, committing acts of debauchery and acting like the kids they read about in the Daily Mail a little piece of me leapt for joy as I knew some of these upper people who invaded our terraces and implied new rules to our game, were now having their party crashed by a bunch of louts dressed up.

So as another Premiership season starts after a break of record breaking signings for amounts of money we can only dream of seeing, for players getting a wage that we will never make, playing a standard of football which seems to be losing its manly image, for a club whose owners probably can’t even speak English, I thank Sky Sports for giving me Jeff Stelling and Chris Kamara on a Saturday afternoon, John Motson in the evening and Andy Graye on a Sunday, so I can watch my football from the best seat in the house. I can swear, smoke, drink, stand up when I want, cheer as loud as I want, even scream brutal racial based obscenities to Didier Drogba when he wont get off the floor if I want, because I have admitted defeat to the other lot. Back in the 80’s Ken Bates the Chelsea chairman considered putting in a 12 foot high electric fence to separate away supporters from the Chelsea supporters, and to stop fans getting on the pitch. 20 odd years later Bruce Buck the Chelsea Chairman has introduced “family stands” and suggested that “those fans who wish to make noise please sit….” Although fans of smaller clubs will probably read this and wonder how it must be so shit to be a Chelsea fan when we break records and win trophies every year now, but to me the Club is buying these trophies for their clientele. It’s strange that about 14 years ago I was watching the now defunct Wimbledon play and now I’m thinking of abandoning my team (a sin which is absolutely unforgivable in every way) to support the new AFC Wimbledon of the Conference. Until then I’ll shut up and enjoy my teams’ success.

Venturing into the far right

It’s a wet bank holiday in May so I can think of nothing better to do then to update my blog, surprisingly my last bit of doodling created a bit of success and everyone who I would chat too would usually start the conversation with “I read your blog by the way”. So it’s good to see that some people actually like to have a read of this thing.
I thought today I would talk about the time when I had a look to see what right wing politics was like. It was around about this time last year and I was now legally registered to vote, but of course who would I vote for? I weren’t going to vote for the Labour party, they banned smoking, went to war and bunged on loads taxes on the things I love the most. Didn’t quite fancy Conservative because I hate yuppies and bankers and the Liberal Democrats just seemed like a bit of a protest vote. But if I wanted to make a protest vote why not make a proper one, so at around April of last year I went to a BNP meeting at the local Chelsea supporters bar.
Now before I go on I will tell you about the story behind my interest into getting involved with the most evil people in the world ever. I live in Morden; the last town of south London, if you haven’t been there you’re not missing much. But about 4 or 5 years ago there was a bit of debate over what the local bottle factory should be turned into. It was agreed by the council at that time it was going to be turned into a multiplex cinema, filled with restraints, shops, a bowling alley, arcade and all that jazz. Wicked! Finally something to do around town and something to put Morden on the map, more jobs, more money being pumped in. But at the last minute someone changed their mind and it was then turned into the largest Mosque in all of London at the time, people were obviously quite concerned… Then the flyers started coming through the door. Being quite young at the time I didn’t really care for politics so I never really had much interest in what the BNP did or were I was however pummelled with information on how they was evil and had no right to be a political party, along with a few policies in the manifesto as to why this was. But like I said I didn’t care for politics at the time but I was starting to notice a lot about social identity, especially race. This was probably to do with going to a massive multi-cultured school. A 1200 pupil high school which was split to about 60% black, 30% white and the rest Asian, now I’m not one to care about the colour of someone’s skin as an important factor of their personality, but at school I didn’t have any black or Asian friends, neither did any of my friends, or anyone else I knew at that school, same with the Asian kids also. The playground would pretty much be segregated, us white kids would play football, why the others would play basketball. We would however have the odd black’s v white’s football match which would usually end in violence. This was my first experience with racial tension and I can’t say I really learnt much from it, but it did sort of give me an idea of what the BNP were trying to get at, although I didn’t know exactly what their goals were.
A few years passed, then there was a terrorist attack and more flyers came through the door, then my neighbour (an open member of the BNP) lent me a book by controversial American politician and “racial realist” David Duke called “My Awakening”. He told me that you couldn’t buy the book in England due to its content and that no matter how hard some parts may be to read, I must read it all. The fact that it was banned in the UK had already sold me, even though it was nearly a thousand pages long. I didn’t know who David Duke was nor had I even heard of what he done or what he represented, but despite what your view may be he wrote a damn good book. He explains in great detail about the differences in race, referencing over 200 different scientific experiments and studies, with an index of forward reading, he then explained all his political views of which some I quite agreed with, the main one being full racial equality which was basically no more forced integration, no more race laws, no more forced employments for minorities. This always seemed to make sense to me, surely people shouldn’t be forced to integrate and be told to get along they should just do it. Surely the only way to stop actual racism is to ignore the fact that we are different by the colour of our skins and accept that we are human beings, and surley its stupid that someone should be forced to employ someone from a minority just because the law states they should, people should be employed by their skill and not by their race.
Needless to say the first 250 pages of the book were incredibly interesting; the second part however was a bit long winded and hard. It was all basically anti Semitic studies about the holocaust and the Jewish influence on the western world, which has never really interested me anyway as its too much of an American subject, and as for the holocaust even if it is exaggerated, people still died and that’s all that matters really. The 3rd part of the book was a bit of a biography on how he rose to be a senator and all that American political Jazz, and how at one point he was the Grand Wizard of the Knights of the KKK, which was a bit of a modernisation of the old Klan. Still basically just as racist, but with less lynching’s, and he did eventually change the white robes to suits, but I digress.
I can’t explain every aspect of the book because it is bloody long and there is a lot in there, some of which I can’t really remember. But reading that book did open me up to another view, some of which made a lot of sense, some I didn’t agree with. But from then on I started to give the right a bit of a chance. The BNP however was a peaceful party, and I’ve always said whether you’re an Islamic extremist or a right wing politician you have the right to say whatever you like, which is why I couldn’t understand that when Abu Hamser was at large he was getting away with inciting actual killings on the streets of London and Nick Griffin was being arrest for a bit of a rant in a pub.
Over the months after reading the book, I was given more information on what the BNP did and some of their policies, which did again open me up to how the media perceive them. Many of their policies would be blown out of proportion, I remember the Sun reporting that the BNP believed that EVERYONE in Britain should have the right to own a gun, when really the actual policy was for people who had served in the army for over 25 years could have the right to own a gun. The main one is that the BNP would deport everyone who wasn’t white and British from the country. There isn’t actually anything like that written in the manifesto last time I checked, but even if it was surely that would expensive and impossible and of no benefit to anyone. There is however a policy that states only residents of the common wealth could immigrate to Britain and that the immigration gates should be closed.
Then one week last April I was invited to go to a meeting, so I went. The meeting as you can imagine was filled with predominately white, working class males, very similar clientele to what would usually occupy the pub on a match day. I don’t remember much of what was said in the meeting, but I must confess I did get a sense of racism in the crowd, but only from a minority of people, the rest of the people I spoke to were normal blokes that I probably usually talk to when the football was on, this media perception of the BNP being filled with skin head yobs looking to go on a bit of a paki bash was mostly bollocks. But I secretly already knew that. But it is the minority that did let it down for the majority and I left not being converted as a BNP member. I was still undecided on my political views, mainly due to one of their policies being that if you are not white you can not become a member of the party because you are not “indigenous” which is bollocks because I have black mates who are more British then myself. I also didn’t really like Nick Griffin; he’s not a great speaker and has a smug sense of greatness over everyone else that seemed to be there, and I got the impression that he seemed to be holding the party back from being an ideal nationalist socialist party, and his second in command Mark Collet has been proved a prick by both a junkie Russell Brand and a shit Channel 4 documentary which just made him look like a lost, gay, Nazi looking for someone to accept him in life. I am however very fond of British tradition and have no problem at all admitting to being a nationalist, and I think that even though at the moment the BNP is failing horribly at being a believable political party I do see this potential of it restoring those little things I love about Britain. Working classes taking refuge in pubs and free houses, old people smoking roll ups, the language of the market stool trader, football on a Saturday afternoon, greasy spoon café’s, binge drinking, secret love of art and culture, sex, drugs and on the dull lifestyle and all those other little pleasantries that I love about this country.
I have also had a few run ins with people from militant left wing organisations such as “searchlight” an organisation that attacks BNP meetings and in some cases their members as well. I have met some people from the organisation that actually take pride in the fact that they went to prison for attacking what could of well been a peaceful family man who just happened to be a member.
I can understand why people are so strongly against the party and I can understand why people would think it was racist and fascist and all that palaver but some of these people haven’t properly had a look in and met the people that follow it. There’s always going to be a minority that ruin it for everyone else but I think there is a racist shadow that follows the party and at the moment I wouldn’t vote for them, but with a bit of a makeover and a few policy changes I cant see any reason why they wouldn’t be seen as a proper working class party, but I think for now I’ll just stick to my guns and wait for a new party that hasn’t been invented yet that will tend to my needs without the risk of being battered by a bunch lefty fanatics.

Atheist's

Recently I have noticed an incredible new support for a religion that I never really noticed had such fanatic supporters in the past, the irony of this new faith is that it isn’t a religion at all it’s atheism, or as I like to call it the belief in total coincidence.
Now I myself was born and raised a Catholic, and to this day I still openly admit a belief in a higher power. Recently when I have told people this I get what I like the call “the Atheist interrogation” which usually consists of the following “WHAT!” “WHY!” “HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID!” and “YOU DO REALISE HOW RIDICULOUSE THAT IS!?” This vicious, verbal assault of questions and insults is usually continued by a series of difficult questions on my faith, why I need it, what good it does and if it does any good why I need a religion to use that good. Now I may be a Catholic and a believer in God and yes I do know a little bit about the history of the religion and could probably do good on the trivial side of it, but I’m not cut out to answer complex questions on a subject that I have more important things to worry about then study deep into, It’s almost like approaching every black person you meet and expecting them to give reasons to why crime and poverty is so big in the black community. I don’t have typical Catholic views on homosexuality, but then again can you honestly tell me that there are no homophobic atheists, and I do believe in Evolution, however I see it as a miracle and not a genius theory, I do however think abortion is just code for murder and there was a bloke called Jesus and what he did actually happened.
Another thing I have started to notice is the amount of people I have noticed starting to read the Atheist Bible or “The God Delusion” which is written by the Atheist version of Jesus, Richard Dawkins. I haven’t read the book, I don’t know anything about Richard Dawkins, I have been peer pressured into reading the book by my militant friends but I never will, mainly because I have no interest in what he has to say, even if he did raise some full proof points as to why I should abandon my own, and my families beliefs and joins his own religion of the belief of no belief. It’s almost like an Arsenal fan taking me to one side and trying to deprogram me from becoming a Chelsea fan by forcing me to read a book on their history and points as to why there better then Chelsea. The fact that they have more silverware, a bigger support, better quality of youth players and long history of legendary strikers and victories doesn’t interest me in the slightest, I was born and raised a Chelsea fan and I will die with them too, just like I will with Catholicism.
What does annoy me about these militants is the irony behind some of their reasons to not believe. Some say its because of the way other religious people have shoved their beliefs down their throat, they tend to say this to me whilst giving me the interrogation and quoting their favourite Einstein passage. Other common arguments include the fact that without religion there would be no war… Now I don’t know if its just me but I cant think of a war with British involvement from the past 100 years that had anything to do with religion, from what I can gather both trips to Iraq have been about restoring Democracy and stealing Oil (Greed and Pride, one thing religion speaks out against) the Falkland conflict again was about taking back land and of course both World War’s which I think had very little to do with religion at all. Now there may be some religious connotations I haven’t quite caught on to but that’s what I can gather from where I’m standing.
Now as much as I respect peoples rights to believe whatever they like and I can understand why some people would choose not to believe for some good reasons, it’s the fact that Atheism itself has become a religion in the sense that these people actually take it upon themselves to go to any lengths to convince themselves there is no God. Surely not believing should be as easy as admitting it and not having to read a book about it or shouting at everyone who did believe in a higher power. I know there are people out there who just don’t believe, I know because some of my dearest friends are like that. They don’t necessarily believe in God and they don’t want to label themselves an Atheist, they just are indifferent to both causes, which is how I feel Atheism should be, a more carefree attitude towards life, knowing that no matter what you do you won’t be judged for it when you die and taking comfort in the new discoveries of science, not creating a new faith of non belief to try and convert everyone who doesn’t share what you think. The reason I don’t follow it is because I take comfort in thinking that all the beauty, and complex nature of the earth and the universe is so perfect that not one person could possible understand every element of it. The very fact that this is a reality is my very own reason for a belief in God. Not that everything we see and everything we do and everything that has happened is all because of a massive coincidence and that we are all living a massive lie. Fair do’s you may not feel the same way but don’t be such a dick about it.